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| Wednesday, May 14th, 2008 | | 1:39 am |
I Guess ... it takes one to know one.
| | Sunday, May 11th, 2008 | | 6:37 pm |
Which Goddess lurks in your soul? | Which Goddess lurks in your soul? Hera It is obvious that leadership is your strong suit! Hera was Queen of all the Greek Gods and the daughter of a Titan. This is no small boast! Hera is selective on who she inhabits and rightfully so. Only those of majestic grace and keen intellects are considered and she will leave in a heartbeat if her host is ungracious or in anyway corrupted by a powerful position. Like Hera, you are a true born leader of the people. Many have come to you over the years seeking guidance and patient understanding to their plights and pains. Your advice is usually rooted in the experiences of your own life and given with great care and caution. Continue on this path and Hera will make you a Queen worthy of remembrance! 
Click Here to Take This Quiz | 
Quizzes and Personality Tests |
 | | Saturday, May 10th, 2008 | | 8:49 pm |
A Sexy Apron Does No Work I am cleaning -- SPRING cleaning, the Big One. Now that the house is officially really going to be where we're living, I am doing The Great Purge… or at least Phase I of said endeavor. To make my job more fun, I decided that a costume was in order. (I love costumes!) So, I got out my new apron, thinking it would inspire me to greater and more productive cleaning heights. The problem is this apron -- it's just too damn sexy. It's this retro-vintage 1947 knock-off in floral blue with big poofy ruffles and pockets. (It looks sort of like the one on the right but more fitted, longer and poofier and with totally different fabric.) I find myself wanting to "dance the apron," which means I'm not getting any work done AT ALL. I have on my favorite music turned up fairly loud, and I just can't stop dancing. I can see the ruffles out of the corners of my eyes, and they are just BEGGING to dance. Sigh. My favorite song on this album is about fifteen minutes long -- after it was done I just had to pause for a moment, and wouldn't you know it? Here's my computer right on the kitchen counter where I usually keep it. So here I am. Luckily, the apron finally came off sometime amidst the dancing (It was dancing, not me -- I am not responsible for its wanting to be spun around the room, scarf-dance style.) which is perhaps fortunate, lest I be dancing still. As if by magic, once the apron was flung across the room I was released from my uncontrollable dancing. Go figure. And now, back to cleaning…. if the apron allows. | | 7:37 pm |
Hmm....
While I was out getting (read: sniffing and subsequently eating) food, someone apparently stopped by my house. How do I know this? Because there was a beautiful burgundy velvet beaded scarf hanging on my doorknob when I returned. It is lovely. I have no idea who left it here.
Any clues?
PS: And yes -- I am certain that this is not just another caffeine-induced hallucination; I have the physical evidence to prove it. | | 6:26 pm |
Coffee
Anyone who knows me well knows this -- I do not drink coffee. It's not that I don't *like* coffee, but rather that we don't get along very well. Back in the day when I used to imbibe on occasion, my Hubby always knew immediately upon arriving home that I'd had coffee -- he could tell instantly.
Hubby: "Did you have coffee today?"
Me: "What do you mean by that?!?
Hubby: "That, right there, is what I mean."
And there it was.
For about three years I didn't have caffeine at all -- I was just too sensitive. I figured out in that time that approximately 92% of the anxiety I experienced in my twenties was coffee-related. Sure, there were other factors, but coffee was the accelerant that fueled my stress. Eliminate caffeine; eliminate anxiety.
These days, green tea is all that I drink, caffeinated beverage-wise. It seems to do okay in my system. (Something changed in me chemically after having children.) I drink about a pot a day, which is the caffeine equivalent of about one cup of coffee, stretched out over hours. (Not to mention the health benefits, the antioxidants, etc..) I figure if it's good enough for Tibetan monks, its good enough for me. (Up until midnight debating and up before dawn meditating? How do they do it? One word: tea.) I *love* my green tea. Love it love it love it.
But today I decided to have coffee. I was on my way to a writing workshop and was a bit tired. Other than the workshop participants, no one would have to be around me for the rest of the day, so what the heck? It was early, so when I stopped for breakfast I got a cup of coffee. I only wanted one cup, but they insisted on bringing me a whole pot. I had my one cup, and since I had to wait so long for my food, about half of a second cup. It wasn't particularly good coffee, nor was it particularly strong, but here I am, hours later, and I have NO appetite. None. I feel a bit queasy at this point, and a little shaky, but have no desire to put food in my body whatsoever.
Maybe I'm experiencing sympathy fasting since my Hubby is on retreat (no eating or speaking from dawn today until dawn tomorrow) but my intuition tells me that the coffee has more to do with it. I think I'm going to go to Chipotle, stand outside and take a few deep breaths through my nose. If that doesn't get my stomach rumbling, I may check myself in somewhere until I come down from this little experiment.
Lesson of the day: Only drink from the pot that has the bright orange rim warning real coffee drinkers to avoid it. If it's not de-caf, I shouldn't touch it. (I keep waiting for a nice older gentleman wearing an orange cardigan to pop out from behind a potted plant and extol the virtues of Sanka to me.) Lesson learned. Again. | | 2:23 am |
Carnival Carnival Thursday Morning – A and I were cuddling in bed, barely awake. A: “Mom? Is it Saturday?” Me: “No, it’s Thursday.” A: “Is today the day that we go to the carnival?” Me: [pause] “Carnival? I don’t think so.” A: [scrunches up her cute little face and almost starts to cry.] “But I want to go to the carnival today! Me: “Did Grandma tell you about a carnival?” A: “Yes.” Me: “Are you going to go to a carnival with Grandma on Saturday?” A: “Yes.” Me: “Were you dreaming about the carnival?” A: “Yes!” Friday Morning – Repeat. Friday afternoon A asked me if I would “Call Grandma on your telephone and ask her if we can go to the carnival yet.” I did – she said that yes – the carnival was set up and would be open at five. This was at two in the afternoon. Within seconds of hearing the news, A, and then M, started to get dressed, put on socks and shoes, and head out to the van. I was *totally* not ready and they were already on the sidewalk waiting for me. I packed them in, started Diego on the DVD player, and then ran back in the house to brush my teeth, get drinks and snacks and pack up my stuff to spend the night at the farm. The carnival ROCKED, as it always does. We go every year and the kids just love it. It was rainy (as always) but not so much that the rides were closed which meant that NO ONE was there. We bought each girl a wristband (read: unlimited rides) and let them go nuts. At some point in the evening, they got it into their heads that they would be allowed to have cotton candy if they “ate a good dinner with lots of protein.” They were SO excited about this prospect (nearly as much as they had been about the carnival itself earlier) that my mom and I just couldn’t bring ourselves to say no. So, after dinner they ate, played with, sculpted, scattered, mashed, tossed and otherwise disseminated two whole bags of cotton candy over the course of about an hour and a half. They were sticky, hyperactive and moody, but oh well – they had fun and quickly fell asleep once I netted them (literally – they were sea creatures that I had to coax out of the ocean and onto the “beach” which was our bed) and got them to hold still. (At one point M, who was teary-eyed, over-tired and REALLY moody said, “Mom, you shouldn’t have let me eat all that cotton candy.” :<D) We fell asleep in a pile – me, a girl on each side, a gigantic blow-up dolphin and a huge squeaky blow-up toy (a sucker? I’m not sure – they have two and were using them to harmlessly bop each other) under the covers. My mom heard me on the other side of the house squeaking loudly trying to extract myself from between them after they were asleep. Luckily, they slept through it.
The kids will be going back to the carnival tomorrow ALL DAY with Grandma – they can’t wait. As we were leaving, they said good-bye to all the carnival workers and told them that they’d see them tomorrow. They were so cute – they said thank you to the people who ran the rides after they got off of every one and made it a point to say good-bye before we left.
Ah… the silence of post-carnival slumber. My Hubby is on a retreat for the weekend, so the girls and I came out to the farm. He took the van (i.e. the only vehicle we have that can transport the kids) so that he had a place to sleep tonight and tomorrow night, so I will be taking the truck to the writing workshop I am attending tomorrow afternoon. And now I think I’m off to join the kids, though maybe I’ll move the dolphin to avoid middle of the night unexpected squeaking. | | Tuesday, May 6th, 2008 | | 1:32 am |
Sodom & Gomorrah
| | Sunday, May 4th, 2008 | | 8:34 pm |
Settled
We *finally* heard something from our mortgage company after multiple multiple times of calling (and calling and calling and calling that one's boss repeatedly) that our modification DID go through. The interest rate has been lowered and the mortgage extended (to include the back amount that we owe) which gives as a payment that is about $150 less then we were paying before. For now, this is good news.
This is still sinking in -- I don't think I've fully grasped it yet. This means that we can also finally clean up our front porch and yard -- we had purposefully been keeping it a mess to discourage any would-be buyers from becoming too interested. The yard isn't mowed, the weeds in the flower beds are knee-high, we had stuff on the front porch, the walk hadn't been swept, the Christmas lights were still up (we took down the ones that weren't obviously visible from the road) and we left the occasional empty can or juice bottle in our front yard -- malt liquor cans when we could find them. (Plan C had been for a relative of ours to buy the house at auction and turn around and sell it to us on a lease option to buy at a profit to them and a savings to us, thus we didn't want to encourage a lot of competition for the property.) If we could have figured out how to do it, we would have drug a non-working car into our yard and left it there on blocks with a hound dog tied to the bumper.
Now, we can stay, so the clean-up has begun. For weeks I didn't know if I should be planting flowers or putting things in boxes, so it has all been in limbo. I'm slowly getting it into my head that we're going to be LIVING here, so I can continue with all of my scheduled projects and plans. Still -- it hasn't fully sunk in / I'm not quite ready to believe it just yet.
In other good news, I 1) found out in a round about way that I have been accepted into graduate school and 2) got my student loans worked out so that I can get an academic deferment. Yay! Now to manifest that approximately ten-year-old good gas mileage getting station wagon that exists here and there in our price range. And a pair of tap shoes. (Seriously. I want tap shoes.)
We are *almost* back on our feet again, financially speaking, though I still feel a bit like a skittish cat that has fallen unexpectedly from a fire escape. (Picture me, solidly on the ground on all four feet, tail puffed out, uncertain what has happened.) I have practiced staying in such a neutral, non-biased state regarding the outcome of this that I don't seem to have any feelings on this news whatsoever -- I'm still in the, "Okay, what's next?" mode of crisis management. I am glad that I went into this period of time as stable and energized as I was, 'cuz this has really taken it out of me. I feel kind of numb and drained -- not "bad," just very…. basic. Like I've taken off all of my more complex states of mind and am just braced, all four paws steady and stable, making sure that the boat doesn't tip over.
This is all fine and good, but I'm ready to move on. I want my motivation back, my drive, my enthusiasm and adventure. I want to feel like painting, cleaning, planting, weeding, ANYTHING really -- I'm just tired to standing here, braced and waiting.
I've been doing a lot of my "good for me" stuff, but I don't think it's had time to sink in yet. I will continue, being patient with the state I *am* in, rather than lamenting I am not somewhere else. I am here. I am well. My feet are planted. I can stay. | | Sunday, April 27th, 2008 | | 9:58 pm |
Surprise! I threw a surprise party for my mom's sixtieth birthday today. It was so fun! She was *totally* surprised -- she didn't suspect a thing. I told M about the surprise party, and she told A, but neither of them told Grandma. I can't believe that they kept a secret like that for over a week! The kids stayed at the farm last night, so today on our way out we picked up the cake I had ordered and I dropped off my Hubby at the Party Room. (It is a free room in a family-owned restraunt in a town near where my parents live / I grew up -- it's in the building that used to be the roller rink.) He decorated and got everything set up, greeted the guests and coordinated the "Surprise!" when we walked in. I went on to the farm and picked up the kids and my parents to "go out for sandwiches" for mom's birthday. She had *no* idea what we were up to -- she really was surprised. :<) I had been a little concerned since I had no idea who was going to show up / how many people were coming. I told two of my aunts who were instructed to tell their families, and I told one of my mom's employees who was going to tell everyone who works for my mom. I called two of her local friends and asked them to tell others, and my dad took care of telling a couple of people whose names / numbers I couldn't find in my mother's cell phone. (That is how I contacted people, i.e. I swiped her cell phone when she was busy with the kids and wrote down the phone numbers of people I wanted to invite.) My grandmother (who rarely gets out of the house these days) was brought by my aunt, and several families carpooled out from Cincinnati together. We had a great turnout and everyone was there when we yelled, "Surprise!" M was a little disappointed that we didn't have any games or prizes -- she gave me a short lecture on why it was important, from now on, to always plan games at parties: "You never know how many kids will show up, and grown-ups might have fun playing games, too." Point taken. :<) The cake was really pretty and we got the right size, i.e. there were just a few pieces left for my mom to over-indulge in for the next few days. On Saturday I gave a two-hour workshop on mandalas at a public library branch for a friend of mine. She had been registered to teach it, but then needed to go out of town this weekend, so she asked me to substitute. It was so fun! It is a topic I know a lot about and I was already familiar with the workshop. I pretty much did my own thing with it -- I used the same structure (information, meditation, construction) but everything I said / did I made up myself. I'm impressed -- I'm getting better and better at making Power Point presentations. ;<) My Hubby did World Tai Chi Day on Saturday (I missed it in order to do the workshop) since he is a local instructor. He chanted before the Movements of Peace segment, and then sat in with the band for most of the rest of the day. He did a lot of chanting that day, and was / is still getting over a cold. Now he's sun burned, and kind of hoarse, but otherwise feeling okay. We also went to a Haffla last night, and then out to Shanghai Mama's for *delicious* food afterward. I can't believe I've never eaten there before -- it was GREAT and is open until three in the morning on weekends. I would *way* rather have seaweed salad and spicy dumplings in the middle of the night than a hamburger or pancakes. Overall it was a really fun weekend -- thanks! I needed that! | | Thursday, April 24th, 2008 | | 7:22 pm |
I Don't Exist! And neither do my children! (Neither one of their first names exist at all.) Luckily, my husband does (there are four of him) which must be where the manifest genetic material came from. Perhaps we are but figments of his imagination...... Ironically, if I had taken his last name when we got married, there would be one of me, but as it is, NONE. Current Mood:  amused | | Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008 | | 4:32 pm |
| | Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008 | | 7:34 pm |
Long time no post! I’ve been 1) busy and 2) not at home for the past two…. no wait, three weeks. I’ve been staying out at the farm a lot, giving my Hubby time to work on paperwork at home without 1) the kids and I disrupting him and 2) moving his gigantic stack of papers (nearly 900 pages worth) in between work sessions. For the most part, this has all been going well – it is fun to be out here, especially when the weather is this nice. We’ve been flying kites a lot (there is a HUGE open field about a hundred paces outside the front door, just beyond the edge of the forest) and the kids do really love to see Grandma this much. At the same time, I miss my Hubby SO MUCH, only really seeing him on Wednesdays and weekends. On the other hand, it has disrupted my usual routine, of which I was / am very fond. I can only lift weights two times a week, and I would like that to be three or four. (The rec center is closed on weekends.) I do not get as much “down time” at the farm because I am always here with the kids; at home, my Hubby takes them to the library, out to the park, to the museum, etc., and I get a real BREAK for a bit. Here, not so much. For the most part, though, it is working out. I don’t know how much to say about the other stuff going on right now – I hesitate, because so much of our lives are up in the air. Let’s just say that we are undergoing some major changes right now – I don’t even know where this is all going, so I have a hard time talking about it much. Oh what the hell. ( I’ll cut it for those not interested in the details. )<) | | 6:10 pm |
Oh Goody -- Colors! you are violet
#EE82EE |
Your dominant hues are red and blue. You're confident and like showing people new ideas. You play well with others and can be very influential if you want to be.
Your saturation level is lower than average - You don't stress out over things and don't understand people who do. Finishing projects may sometimes be a challenge, but you schedule time as you see fit and the important things all happen in the end, even if not everyone sees your grand master plan.
Your outlook on life is bright. You see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates you to see them get down on everything.
| | the spacefem.com html color quiz |
| | Wednesday, April 9th, 2008 | | 1:02 pm |
Sugar Update & New Addictions I meant to give an update last week when I got the results, but the kids and I were out at the farm for a few days and I didn't really have much time to myself to do ANYTHING, including writing. I got the results of my blood test back and things look pretty good. (Actually, it looks excellent -- my cholesterol levels are great, and everything else is well within the very healthy range.) The official diagnosis -- I do NOT have diabetes, which is very good news. My glucose fasting rate isn't even as high as we had thought once it was measured with the more accurate test at the doctor's office and my insulin levels are fine. Clearly, though, my body has become very sensitized to sugar which indicates that, while not diabetic, I need to make some changes if I would like to remain that way. I also need to watch my sugar levels between meals and eat regularly since I am also sensitive to drops in glucose levels. All this really means is more mindfulness around my eating habits, which is something I was wanting to do anyway. Three weeks into this I have to say -- I feel GREAT, as in better than I have ever felt as an adult. I immediately and radically shifted my eating habits toward the "healthy" end of the spectrum and shifted exercise toward "religiously." I am now eating several POUNDS of raw vegetables a week, less fat, no fast food, very few simple starches and hardly any processed sugar. (I am gnawing on a huge bowl of mixed greens with shredded chicken breast in it as we speak.) I am also doing some form of exercise nearly every day. I had noted many months ago how habituated eating habits were, that I/we seemed to just sort of eat what we were used to eating. I postulated that if I could just get used to eating other things (read: healthier things) that maintaining this way of eating would be no more difficult than maintaining the old way. I am happy to say that this is true -- considering how motivated I am to not become diabetic and not to experience that truly awful feeling of having my blood sugar drop down to twenty-something, making the switch was very easy. (It helped that I already knew what I was doing, ala the gestational diabetes diet.) Now that I've switched, I am not finding it difficult at all to maintain. (I've also decided that it is okay to eat ice cream once a week if I want it -- it rates much higher on the glycemic index and has less sugar than most other "sweet" foods. Not having any of these foods AT ALL would be a bit too much for me to maintain over the course of months or years, so this is my one exception for now.) And then there's my new addiction -- weight lifting. I cannot believe how much I love it! When my alarm goes off in the morning, I more or less JUMP out of bed, knowing that the first thing I'm going to do is go to the gym and lift weights. My body feels SO GOOD during and after lifting -- it is the most grounding and centering activity I have ever done. My posture has improved (I've been working on this for years, but now standing up straight is effortless) and I breathe deeper for a couple of days afterward. I don't like going more than two days without lifting, but unfortunately the rec center I go to isn't open on weekends at all. :<( I am going to try to find some other exercises that I can do on the weekends that will give me the same sort of invigoration -- something that challenges my muscles and fills them with energy. That is the thing -- after lifting weights, I feel "built up" rather than "torn down." I am approaching this in a TOTALLY different way than I ever have in the past, informed partially by the different place I am internally, and partially from all of the information I now have about physiology, thanks to my Hubby. I really understand what is meant by "aerobic," and how the way that many Americans exercise is not that at all. For instance, if you're panting and out of breath, you are no longer in an aerobic state, which means that your body is not getting enough oxygen. Once in an anaerobic state, the body is no longer going to burn fat -- it is much more likely to burn muscle. Staying at a level of activity that raises the heart rate while still maintaining deep, steady breathing is a lot better for the body, and feels a lot better, too. I lift as a meditative practice, slowly and controlled, breathing deep, listening to my favorite music so that I don't have to hear the television. (YIKES!!! TV!!!!!) As I lift, I envision my muscles being filled with and radiating light. By the time I'm doing a cardio workout afterward on one of the bikes or those standing-up feels like you're riding a bike thingies (are those elipticals?) I am so blissed out that it's all I can do to keep from laughing. I have my eyes closed a good deal of the time (largely due to the television that I have no interest in seeing) with a huge smile on my face. I am just in HEAVEN!!!! I'm doing some kind of exercise nearly every day at this point, whether it be weight lifting, cardio machines, dance, walking, sex, yoga, tai chi, my movement class or some combination of a few of those. Today, being my "day off" and all, I spent nearly three hours working out -- one and a half at my movement class (we had a live tabla player today!) and another hour plus at the gym. I feel soooooooooo good! And now, off to write a screenplay. I'm entered in the Scriptwriter's Challenge contest, so I have a week to write a screenplay in the genre "Crime Caper" with the subject "A Scale." This is not easy for me -- I'm a postmodernist highly abstract art film kind of girl -- a crime caper about a scale feels very foreign to me. But, that's part of the challenge! Wish me luck…. | | Saturday, April 5th, 2008 | | 8:16 pm |
Application
Graduate school application: Done.
Bonus: I didn't have to pay the application fee because I am an alumni!
I spent the afternoon compiling the papers, awards, writing contest wins and publication credits I had while I was an undergraduate so that I could send them to my former professor so that he could write a more informed and detailed letter of recommendation. It was quite a lot -- I was a little surprised, as I didn't really keep great track of this stuff. What a bunch of writing I did!!!! And this was only a tiny sample that I did for / around one particular professor. What an academic lunatic I was, um, er, AM or will be as of this fall, assuming I get accepted.
Am I being silly for worrying about that? Meaning, I have this fear that they won't take me, that my grades (I cannot remember my GPA) weren't good enough, that I haven't published enough, that.... what? that I didn't write enough? Okay -- now I *am* sliding off the deep end of logic. I remember at graduation getting to wear some kind of extra tassels -- English honor society? Sigma Tau Delta? I think? In writing out my recommendation stuff, I nearly forgot having won the Thaddeus P. Lindsey Award for Academic Leadership while I was there. (I have my name carved into a little gold plaque and everything.) The more I put together, the more stuff I realized I had.
Okay. Maybe I am being a little silly. Part of it is I have nothing to compare it to -- I have no idea what the "typical graduate student" looks like or has done. I just know that for the past fifteen years there have been things I've chosen to do with the logic "that would look good on a grad school application." And now that I start compiling it and thinking about it, it seems that thought went through my mind on many occasions.
I guess I'll just wait and see. I'll keep you posted..... | | Friday, April 4th, 2008 | | 9:20 pm |
Cuz All The Cool People Were Doing It </center> | | Tuesday, April 1st, 2008 | | 2:34 am |
Cha-CHING!!!! I've had a very productive month, writing and otherwise, but for now I'll stick to writing. As the month of March is officially over, I would like to post my word count tally: Pages (single spaced) -- 207 Words: 100,445 I am amazed by this -- it is by far my most productive month ever, and I'm not really sure how or why it is so huge. I had some vague idea that I wrote about a while back where I calculated how much I'd have to write in order to get to a million words in a year. I did not set this as a goal, but apparently somewhere in my head (or the place where my head meets my fingers) I said, yeah -- a million words -- that sounds cool. This month I wrote an average of about 3240 words per day, which would lead to well over a million in a year. Again, no goal setting here (especially if I'm going to start working and going to school in a few months) but I am quite happy with this pace and pleased that I can keep it up. Happy tapping to all my Script Frenzy friends!!! I really wish that I was joining you (and I mean in more ways that just crashing your write-ins like I did tonight, which was fun, by the way!) but I've got a book to write. The first chapter sort of flew out of my fingers once I returned home, thus putting me over the 100,000 mark for the month. I am pleased as proverbial punch; and now, off to bed for a nice celebratory dream. | | Monday, March 31st, 2008 | | 8:55 pm |
Today With M
Today was another "M and Mommy" day and we had a blast!!! My mind-set going into these days is "always say yes when possible," and "don't disapprove of anything." (I mean, what fun is it if mom says "yes," but then sits there clearly disapproving?") Today, we painted. We got a bit experimental….
I got out sheets of freezer paper so that she had PAPER for her feet, rather than just the tracks she was making on the linoleum. Then she had the idea for me to squirt paint onto the paper in small puddles and she would drive her cars and trucks through it and paint with the tracks. It looked SO COOL!!!!! She made four or five gigantic (as in six feet long) paintings this way.
Then we got out mops and a bucket of water and had a really great time mopping the floor. After that, it was up to the bath where I showered (I had paint all over me too by this time) and she sat in the tub with the drain closed as it slowly filled wearing scuba gear and talking to a bright orange fish. After my shower was finished, I made lunch and brought it up to the bathroom (she was in the tub for almost an hour and a half) where we had a picnic with, yes, her still in the bath. (She loved the story I told her about how I used to work until four in the morning and then would come home, soak in the tub and eat dinner in the bath almost every night.)
Then we played with trains until Daddy came home and I ran out the door to my movement class. The two of them went to pick up A at Grandma's house, and they will be here any minute. These days with M are really doing a whole lot to solidify our relationship and deepen our connection, which in turn leads to so much more peace and happiness in our house. We are assessing on a week by week basis which girl will go to Grandma's on Monday -- once again, we decided that it would be best if A went and M had another day with me. For many months, M was the one who went every week, as A was just too little and not quite familiar enough with that grandma for any of us to think that would go well, so in the end, it really does balance out.
And I fulfilled my goal -- I said yes, and I did not disapprove. Now, to remember to do that EVERY day!!!!!!! It really does make life more fun and really -- what is the big deal about cleaning up a little paint (okay, A LOT of paint) off of linoleum? None -- it's just that I'm the Mommy and I've been conditioned to believe that my job is to say "No." There is no logic to it beyond that, especially when saying yes is so much more fun. | | Sunday, March 30th, 2008 | | 6:46 pm |
Grad School, Contests & Stuff
* So, I went to the graduate school expo at the university where I received my undergraduate degree, and there is no doubt in my mind -- I want to go back. Starting in the fall, they will be beginning their first ever Master's in English program and I am *so* there.
It felt like coming home -- when I walked into the big hall where they were doing the expo, the department chair saw me, ran across the room, hugged me and said, "Oh please tell me you're going to join us again?" How can I refuse that? I *love* those guys! They still remember me -- from my propensity to go WAAAAAAAY overboard with all academic pursuits (I wrote a hundred and seventy-five page paper for an independent study project, and once turned in a sixty page screenplay instead of a term paper, etc., etc.) and my infamous stunt of turning in a poem to my creative writing professor (who no longer teaches there and whose class I couldn't stand) written about him in a parody of his style, only to have him like it so much that he had it published and read it out loud in front of the class…. well, let's just say they remember me quite well.
I have the application; I have the financial aid paperwork; I have emails out for letters of recommendation. Hopefully, in the fall, I'll be elbow-deep in Deconstructionism, Inter-referentialism and Joycian cosmology. (I am planning to do a treatment of "Finnegans Wake" by James Joyce for my thesis -- I want to write the book that makes FW accessible enough to students and professors so that they can actually *teach* that book in college literature programs, as it is, IMO, the best book written in any language in the history on humanity. Now we'll just see if I can talk them into letting me do that….)
* I finally heard back from that Undisclosed National Magazine to which I submitted a long article last month. They *are* interested in the article, though they can't guarantee that it (or any other article) will actually see publication until they have the final lay-out of the magazine in their hands with no more changes being made to it. I have, however, made the "1 in 100" cut. I revised the article per their preferred citation methodology and have sent out contacts to collect photographs to accompany it. Wish me luck!
* I signed up for the Screenwriter's Challenge today, so as of next Friday, I'll be writing a screenplay. (Please let me get a genre I resonate with, please let me get a genre I resonate with…) This was lots of fun last year and will allow me to get my film fix for the month.
* I TRIED to join NWSA so that I will be eligible to present my poster at their national conference in June, but alas….. all of the pages on their web site have no way to scroll down, so I can't get to the bottom of the page where it ostensibly says "Pay now." I managed to trick it a few times by using the tab key on pages where there were fields, but then I got stuck. My Hubby hopes to be able to help me figure out how to get to the place where they will take my money, but as of yet, I've had no luck. (This is the part where I refuse to make any sexist jokes about women and technology. Nope, not gonna do it.)
* Things in general are going very, very well. I am enjoying my diet, my exercise, my sleeping, my activities, my sense of enthusiasm and accomplishment…. life just rocks right now and I am so on top of the world with excitement about everything I am doing and everything I am planning to do. Yay, life! | | Thursday, March 27th, 2008 | | 3:01 pm |
Deeeeeeep Breath I love my Hubby. I mean, I really, REALLY love him. He is a miraculous, amazing human being, the kind of guy who carries his own gravity with him. I respect, love and admire him deeply. At the same time, he doesn't always keep track of small things like, for instance, my keys. He used them last night when we went to the hardware store for curtain rods and ostensibly unlocked the front door of the house with them when we returned. Whether he put them in his pants pocket where they later fell out somewhere in the house or if they were stolen by gremlins while he ate dinner, is all up for debate. The important thing is that I do not have my keys; I was not the last one to use them. It is now 10:40; my workshop was supposed to start at 10:30. I refuse to stress. This is rather difficult, however, I've learned from experience that stress does not produce keys -- I've tried this methodology in the past without success. Instead I am trying the "breathe deep and let go of attachment" methodology, which, while it also has not produced keys, is making the (now given up) search less hellish. As this was a training for his employees, he has sent one of them to pick me up. I await his arrival calmly and without malice toward my miraculous, amazing, wonderful husband who also sometimes inadvertently tucks things in his pockets or forgets to make the automatic movement to toss the keys in the hanging pocket where they go. Lesson learned: Today, as soon as we find the keys we will make extra copies of the van key so that this does not happen again. I will not stress; I have the freedom to make choices about my mental and emotional states; stress does not produce keys; I am wholly responsible for my actions and reactions; breeeeeeeeath deep….. [ LATER ] The aforementioned employee arrived while I was getting ready to post, so out the door I went. The workshop went just fine -- my Hubby was speaking to them about NVC (a workshop I'll probably do with them when they are on their next semester break) so I wouldn't have begun right on schedule anyway. I was able to pare down the workshop on the fly (I'm good at that) to fit in everything in the time allotted. I got rave reviews -- everyone loved it. The only criticism was that it wasn't longer. :<) In news of weirdness, my Hubby found the keys -- in his pocket. What makes this weird is that he had totally dumped out his pockets -- all of them -- while we were on the phone together. He did this twice; the keys were not there. Then, voila -- keys. We have decided that this particular set of keys has a cloud of invisiblitiy hanging around it -- this is not the first time they have been lost. (The last time someone, probably one of the kids, dropped them down between the end table and the couch. We found them, rather by accident, a few days later.) For one thing, the set is small -- only two keys and no dangly decorative key chain. I suggested I get a St. Anthony's medal to hang on the keys, as he is the patron saint of lost/found things. Since that is also the name of the church next to our house, my Hubby suggested perhaps I take them to Father Len for a blessing, *after* the exorcism, of course, as this set of keys seems cursed. So, no harm done. I'm very glad that I was able to stay in a relaxed frame of mind despite the external reality of having no keys when I was scheduled to be someplace speaking (and at a place where I would like to work, no less) RIGHT NOW. I'm pleased with my reaction, or lack thereof -- it has made the day waaaaaaaay less stressful than it might have been. Now, off to outline and start a book. I finally "got it" last night, the book that has been rolling around in my mind, slowly forming, one ambiguous piece at a time. Then, in the bathtub last night (source of many of my most useful inspirations) it hit me all at once. Duh, I say in retrospect, that makes total sense. In light of that, I've decided not to do Script Frenzy this year. I am going to do the Screenwriter's Challenge again (which means I could have "double dipped" with that screenplay, meaning it would have "counted" for both) since that leads to potential prizes and recognition, whereas SF does not. I am very focused on career stuff right now (and I have to admit, getting TWO checks in the mail yesterday was very nice!) so I am going to write the book this month instead. Perhaps what I'll do is "write along" with my SF friends and just pretend I'm doing NaNo, i.e. writing 50K words in a month -- that would be a good start, if not finish, to the book I want to do. (It's non-fiction, which tends to be somewhat shorter than the typical novel.) I would love to write another screenplay -- I have several of them outlined -- but for now, right now, I'm going to make the book happen first. (And a short screenplay, so I'm with you guys in spirit!!!!) And speaking of which, off I go. I've got two hours until the graduate school expo I'm attending later in the afternoon, and in that time I'd like to get my outline done, my research / materials compiled and organized and perhaps the first chapter started. In between those things I'll do a couple of loads of laundry, then go pick up the kids afterward, and hopefully make it to my Gothic Aerobics class tonight. (snicker) Weight training again tomorrow, followed by Final Friday at my favorite local metaphysical retail shop with my favorite local band, and perhaps more dancing -- yay! One book; one month. I've done it before, and I can do it again, especially with my spiffy lifework integration system. Now to just keep track of my keys!!!!! |
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